Lessons learnt from a failed relationship

When someone goes through breakup - lot of gyaan is given. Even otherwise we give gyaan but the philosophy quotient on these gyaan tends to be real high. These are typically moments that we can laugh about in the future. Forget about the heart breaks and heart aches, but I am just talking about what we get out of failed relationships.

Initial Reactions:

1. Grudge: how can s/he ditch me? how dare s/he? these are general feelings that swell up inside. Hate the person, hate the world, hate the things lovey dovey and hate all those same things that was so cute somewhile ago.
2. Sadness, Low self esteem. well this should have been in number 1, but i just liked to start off with something strong :) Most of them are in dumps and try hard to get up.
3. Rebels: the rebels tend to ruin things for themselves. Do things just opposite of what they would have done sanely. New habits are formed. might lead to addiction.
4. Loneliness: Well there is a big vaccum created by the person who left you. Not just that but you have not been keeping in touch with your friends, bcoz you wanted to spend extra special time with the special person. So now you dont have a face to reach out to them. ( well just an scenario but it works with majority of normal couples :P ) If not this you will be in "no one understands me phase"
5. eat a lot :) i personally love this part. I would use this an excuse even otherwise

If in teen phase, then you become a love guru.

In the end, everyone learns to be strong, be aware of things or move on etc. But this one is a little different.

Well the story in hand is about a girl Alia who had passion for painting. err the painter??? Ok lets assume she loved the paints and the colours. She couldnt do much paint anything more than the usual 2 mountains, a valley - river that flows between, that would come to plains where there would be a hut with a lone tree outside. a door or a window. It would depict a sunset, with few birds flying in the horizon. Before i forget there would be a boat and oars. many a times there would be no one rowing the boat even though it is placed in the middle of the river. To bring variety there would be bushes around the house. She painted the same stuff through school and few competitions.

When she went to college and  in final year, she met Vikram. Dont jump to conclusions, no sparks flew. Nothing intersting really happened. She went to study further and so did Vikram abroad. Alia was Vikram's lucky charm or so he thought so. or even Alia thought Vikram thought so. :P He came down a few times and met her. She tried to summarize her whole year into few hours of coffee. Time obviously flew, well assuming Alia had an eventful year. But when it was time to part, it was tough. Next year it worsened! They had lesser in common to talk about. What she thought as eventful was not that interesting for Vikram and vice versa. As far as goodbyes go that also changed. It became tougher. Forget tougher they said it a 2 digit times before they actually walked away in diff directions. They came out, Goodbye. Well let me walk you a little ahead. Goodbye. I can take auto from still further. Goodbye. Oh it started to rain. Goodbye.

When Vikram was talking, Alia totally missed it that he had started painting. She was still remembering what all he needed to know about her. Now that Vikram was back to his home, he gets totally engrossed into what he loves the most - Painting. Alia didnt have a passion or a hobby of her own. One thing she was good at - encouraging. Vikram just got better and better. He reached a pro level. Started taking it seriously, took classes. He started making money out of it. :) Good money. Real good money. Nothing else seemed to matter to him. In between all these they tried to work out the unrealistically optimistic relationship knowing where it would lead to.

Vikram was living the dream - no literally. All he could think was painting - idea, concept, colours. More he painted less he was part of this world. Alia would have imagined him like tha painter guy in Heroes - who dopes and paints the future. :P That was not main concern, but they were having lesser and lesser in common to make this work. Chats became dry. At one point it all boiled down to liking his painting in social networking site and on few occasions comments. He did appreciate her enthusiasm and encouragement. His enthusiasm reduced from painting for her to painting and telling her first to just posting it.

Alia wanted to give it a last shot. She started the artist approach. He is a painter he would appreciate art, she tried excelling in something that came close to passion - singing. So that they are both pursuing something - same roadblock, same encouragement and same artisty passion. But things didnt work out the way she expected. :) Just that Vikram didnt seem to get her art. Or he didnt bother. She had only one option - start painting and ask him to guide. Feedback sessions would get the conversation back to where it was. It worked for a while and then she just realized Vikram's first love will always be painting. She didnt want the friendship they had to go awfully bad. All she did was step back.

But she didnt realize, she had herself gone deep into this form of art. She started expressing stuff better. It gave her the calmness. She was able to unclutter her thoughts better. Remove all stress. It got her the attention she needed in social network. Sometimes she hit road block but then there were times when her creativity was at heights. One of her other friend started helping a lot. Together they discovered her style of painting. Few commission came through :) Vikram started to notice her good work. He does guide her.

I dont think you need more details on whether they lived happily ever after or not :P who cares. The point i was trying to make was we are most definitely influenced positively by people in our lives. Sometimes two people are not meant to be together but then sab shayar bante hain apni aalia painter ban gayee ;)

Gore Gore Mukhde pe kala kala chasma

It was one of my prized possessions. "WAS" :'( I didnt know till then i used to immortalize and anthropomorphize the things i own ( FYI: anthropomorphism is Attribution of human motivation, characteristics, or behavior to inanimate objects, animals, or natural phenomena. - which all riders do - they name their bikes and talk to them etc )
 
My eye piece was part and parcel of me in all my trips. Its like I am so used to seeing things through the tinted colors. Most of the harsh realities are probably filtered like how i am protected even in blazing sunlight. And it would just make this world a better place and definitely a more liveable, loveable and beautiful place.

It was much more special because it was a gift from a close friend. A friend who wanted to see the lot of places, explore not just about himself but also this whole wide world and who wanted adventure to be his middle name. {Some asked if Maverick was his father's name lol and facebook refused to let him change his name back. I knew for girls were allowed to change their names in the name of marriage and for once as a guy he was in vulnerable position lol)

Life never allows things to go smooth. No one's life is hunky dory when someone has so much fun and smiles never cease to appear from the faces with whom he is. Jokes, pranks, fun were like an ever flowing drought less river. Shor na machaya toh mazaa nahi aaya. Professors hates him for the pranks and for disturbing the few who were pretending to listen to his boring lectures  - he believed in learning practical stuff rather than snoring away in class.

I guess there is only a portion of happiness allotted to each one of us. I am sure he surpassed the limit long before. He definitely lived his life as if it was the last but we were not ready for it. Even in coma he always has a serene contented look when his whole fragile body used to move to rhythm of the ventilator. I really pity how his mother would have taken it, whole family praying outside his room waiting for a miracle to happen. I, supposedly a lion heart, fainted in the ICU at the mere look of how a split second changed the fate of our lives. I say our lives because it was us who endured the pain even after the bed he occupied became available again.Trust me I really wished it was just the smell of chemicals in the hospital that nauseated me.

Probably he achieved more than what we ever did, more mature than all of us and playful than all of us. I feel he would have floated around and checked out the whole world that he wanted to travel and more and probably beyond. All I could probably give as tribute is few smiles thinking if he was still around and take the gogs through most of my journeys. To ensure you see the world through my eyes in case you have missed it.

As you wished you had your adventure when it happened to you, you wanted to ride till death. We all talk about passion for riding but somewhere I still find the purpose!!! The goggle that covers the most expressive part of us, does sometimes hide the deepest pain.

First of all I almost left it at home, but was generously allowed a delay of few minutes to go get for the ride. Just before going to the beach I even asked my room partner not to wear it but I also landed up wearing it. As usual was alone and aloof in the waters enjoying my "My Time" when Host comes to lure me into a swimming race. Just when I dived, the huge wave washed away my goggles.